I MISS HIM LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT IM TRYING VERY HARD HERE NOT TO DO CERTAIN THINGS...

OH ALLAH, PLS GIVE ME THE STRENGTH>

Quote of the Day - Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.

Hmmmm....i shall update about the progress of my makeup class...
Yesterday..had my class at 7pm. to be exact..we start everything at 7.30pm. This time, we have to prepared ourself a model. ANd so i get one..hehe u will know later who...Well..We started at 7.30pm and we were supposed to end it at 9pm but since we are not yet Professional..hehe it ended late. Its also was due to shortage of the baju pengantin and acessories.

Well..frankly speaking..at times im really worried about the test..its gonna be soon...and my makeup skills..hmmm..not that teruk lah..but there are parts which is damn hard to do it. u think easy huh??? to get the perfect thingy...urgh..can drive me crazy man...but ..hehe afterall there are some parts which i got complimented by my mak andam. but..of course my mak andam did help a bit here n there...and also..eachone of use have to do a different style for the eyes. i had to do the " Double eye lid". Stated by the mak andam itself, that this is hard even she also...have to try n try again. But haha i just give it a try lah eh.BTW, this style if for those who mata sepet..single eyelid i can say..

AND PLS HELP ME!!!

I NEED ANOTHER MODEL NEXT WEEK ON THE 29TH DECEMBER ( AND PREFERABLY I NEED A MODEL WHO CAN SHAVE THEIR BULU KENING AND ALSO A BIT SLIM COZ THE BAJU FOR EXPERIMENT KECIK AR) . SO TO THOSE WHO ARE FREE ON THAT DAY(EVENING) AND FITS THE CRITERIA PLS PLS PLS TELL ME.

and here u go..the models..Pls comment on it. I need feedback so i can improve..and yah between this two..who do u prefer best? I will show you who the make-up artist...

SO...Pls let the comments in.....

Quote of the DAy: The worst thing about getting your heart broken is going to sleep and knowing you're going to wake up and nothing has changed


Hmmmmmmmmm..

Lately...I find it very difficult to blog..i really dunnoe why..Sometimes, i do have the mood to blog..but when im infront of my Laptop, my mind just went blank. At another note, probably i have too much to say that i do not know which to pour out. Haha...

Im juggling with emotions..quite ok. I can rather say that lah. But at times, well it went berzzerk too. Its just plain difficult lah. See lah...when i mention abt this only, my feelings became...argh..SHIT FEELING!!

Although its kinda difficult, i just had to believe that there is a blessing from what have happen. Do u ever realise that infact most of us loves GOD's CREATION more than we love our GOD. We Sacrifice Everything as long as Our love one is happy. But HIM, sometimes, we tend to forget about him. And im Ashamed of myself coz i can be categorized as one of those peepz... and im much more ashamed coz only when im sad, disspointed, trauma, hurt , Only then i will look for him, share my stories with him. But, when he gave me happiness, i forget totallya bout him..and no sharing of stories with him...Sighz..what can i say, those "HANTU, IBLIS , SETAN" is alwaysout there to cucuk us!!! But im glad that, ALlah still loves me and still gives me time to repent before he took my life away, something that he gave us human as a Pinjaman.

RItes, i need to cook for a while. Nah actually just preparing some bread lah..Nak bawak gi kerja...Onmy night shift tonite. K guys.. cYA!

Adakah diriku kau tak perlu lagi?
Adakah cintaku kau tak perlu lagi ?
Adakah dirimu dah berubah hati terhadap diriku ?

Adakah insan lain bertakhta di hatimu
Hinggakan dirimu mengubah cintamu..?
Manakah janjimu yang kau beri dulu kepada diriku ?

Kau pernah berkata cintamu adalah selama-lamanya
Bulan menjadi saksi pada malam itu Kau kata kau cinta

Sayangku dengarlah rintihan hatiku
Ingin kau kembali seperti dahulu
Kenangan di jiwa membuat ku rindu kepada dirimu

Kau pernah berkata cintamu adalah selama-lamanya
Bulan menjadi saksi pada malam itu Kau kata kau cinta

Kiranya diriku kau tak perlu lagi
Simpanlah kenangan cinta kita di hati
Walaupun sukar ku akur kali ini
Biarlah ku pergi

Maafkanlah ku bertanya…

Berat Mata Memandang, Berat lagi bahu yang Memikul

Rahsia Yang ku Pendam , tak mungkin Sesiapa Dapat memahami

Kesal dengan Tindakanku

Ya Allah, masih terbukakah lagi pintu kemaafanmu...

Mungkin sudah sampai masanya untukku membuat keputusan yang Muktamad

Hanya ALlah sahaja yang tahu berapa byk kah airmata cinta yang keluar dari kelopak mata ini...

Ampunkan dosa hambamu ini ya allah!

7th of December 2006 - 7th month together.

For the first time i ever...i dint even feel it. Haiz.....

I remember it...i waited and waited..till the clock strikes 12am....no sms/kol....till 1 am...still no sms/kol..only at 1.30am..the phone rang...adn the reason he call me was just plainly to say goodnite.

WE planned to meet last week, but last minute he said..everyone was called up for werk..and its compulsory. ALthough its kinda heavy to let him go..i just calm myself down and let him go...but with a condition that by hook or by crook he must meet me this week. But now, again he wanted to postpone it, due to work. Argh ! im getting sick of this! I demand this week.. He use to tell me not to care so much about him..and care more about myself. And so..now...i dun give a care anymore. i demand this week. If he thinks he cant pull it through and he can only meet me next week,,,by all means...we will c if i have the time to meet him next week.

continuation n the anniversary, since he jsut call me to say goodnite. i just said a few things
1) thanks for making me wait for your call till 1am.
2) thanks for not remembering this date

And..ohh then he voice out..he knows and remeber that its our anniversary, but WHY MUST I BE THE ONE TO SAID IT FIRST???
There still more of yesterday conversation..but let it be just within me...kinda personal to say it out here...

Its been a routine for us to give a love note cum sms on this date....every month.. and its only half an hour left. I shall see whether he remember to give me a note..or plainly he will just tell me.im too busy and caught up with werk that i foret..but dun worry..i make it up to you..i will give u..a nice one..HAH! if my prediction is rite, he can jolly well keep his msgs.

But as a proof..that i remember..u blogger are the witness...

This was what i plan to give him

"Masa tidak Menunggu, pandangan kian kabur, harapan tingal kenangan, Pendirianmu tiada lagi, Kini ..Hanya dapat kita bersanding di tirai mimpi."

Short and sweet.Bahasa Kiasan. If he is smart, he know what i mean..
But the most impt thigng is...will he receive this msg afterall...

Im Waiting....

TICK...TICK...TICK...

Time is Running

Someone who is Perfectly close to you Suddenly became a Complete stranger, While Someone who use to be a stranger and not know you too well became the closer one.

Ironic Isnt it???

Im Sick. My Face look horrible. With my flu, my rashes plus addition of my SWOLLEN eyes. argh..i had to lie..i dunnoe how it became swollen..but for sure i know, its due to me crying my hearts out..day and night. How traumatize i was, with whatever that im going thru right now. I guess ive been crying too much that i lose up all the liquid level inside me..and as a result my skin become as dry as eva. The area around my eyes became so dry. I had to stop putting on make-up for the moment.

With the fact that i am sick, he doesnt even bother. All he think of his work . He doesnt even call nor sms me..asking how i am...whether i took my medicine....I think he just dun give a damn abtme anymore.ME deosnt even exist in his dictionary.Work thru late night almost everyday., and complained tired when he get back. get so cranky and let it all on me. when i demand for few minutes of his time, I was blamed for not understanding. now who's at fault?

ITs not easy huh to make a decision. Made it...but its SUper Duper Hard to Do it. Yeah..i realised it, Its easy for us to say it..but to act on it, argh how i wish i have the strength.

I just feel i dun noe him anymore. He change tremendously.

I dunnoe whether he read this. But 80% of me, says he wont. Not that he got no time. But he Dosent even bother at all.

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