The post below is written on 20th September...

AS for now..things have "reda" a bit..but im still not myself..i need time to recover...Its still Playing in my eyes..and lingering on my mind.

Here the post goes...

Its 4.03am here. Im shivering from the coldness.. THis Office is giving me the creeps with the coldness... Tonite...is not a good night...to be precise...its not even a good morning too. FIrst of All, Its my xtra nite..and that means im only being paid for 6 hours to cover up the hours that i owe the company. 2ndly, Im shocked with what ive found. People tend to say, curiosity kills the cat, but in terms of us human beings...at time curiousity will bring us back to reality. 3rdly, i just wonder y do the one we love never stop hurting us in a way or another. y do humans only learn to appreciate when the person or the things we adore is not infront of us anymore.

Crushed, Dissapointed, Shattered, Broken,Speechless... Never have any intention in mind..but did not expected my visit to the profile has open up the truth and reality. The Truth Hurts! and it really HURTS a lot...and its double wooble HURT when u find it and saw with your own eyes. I question myself again n again, do i deserve all this...What have i done till i receive all this misfalls. Why dont guys use their brains before deciding on doing anything? Why dont guys think of what girls would feel , react...? the consequences of thier actions? But at times thier reactions dissapointed me even more. They take things as simple as it isI dun blame them fully.When i quarrel with someone i love. I looked at myself in the mirror. Did i do something wrong to make him react this way?

For example,
According to a guy, a girl is possessive...but correction..its actually insecure and lack of trust. The lack of trust in relationships have sometime led girls to possesiveness ...When a person's trust is betrayed..it will lead to insecureness and lack of trust. Even though, we tend to forgive but the expereience that we once had...will still be fresh in our mind. When this situation happens, the guy should actually MAKE AN EFFORT to secure the relationship and to GAIN the trust back, not by betraying the trust again. Coz if frequently a trust is betrayed after tons and tons of forgiveness, girls tend to be overeact and paranoid, afraid that their partners that they really love would betray it again. When this things happen, what u guys need to do is to help us and motivate us..not by destroying us..How long do u expect us, girls to bear with all this...WHen u guys are not happy with us due to certain things, that doesnt mean that we deserve to be treated indifferrenly...not of importance anymore.Two person in Love,What they want from thier partner is love plus sincerity, secureness and a future to look ahead to. We are not kids anymore where puppy love are all around us. Now its business time. I just cant put myself to sleep.

A lot of question are playing in my mind. I just couldnt explain how hurt i am right now...Only ALLAh Know the truth feelings... Kalau beginilah takdir hidupku...aku redha Ya ALLah...~