Not Even a Pinch of hope

What more can i say..feeling something deep down inside..but rather unsure of what the feeling is..Friends advice me to cry if i need to..let it all out and hopefully i will be ok for days to come. I wish i could cry..i wish i could let this tears running down..but my vow prevented me.
i promise i wont shed a tear for a guy..is that y i couldnt.
This sounds weird...I Wanted so much to cry..to let go of this feeling inside me..but something stopping me.
Im feeling something..but i dunnoe what it is. Too much dissapointment they say...but is that really the reason???????
Y do everytime i have to put up with this. Putting up with excuses that was purposely made. Y cant this species tell the truth. Love me if u need to..Hate me if u want to..Be frank with me IF YOU HAVE TO. The most painful moments is to know that you dindt meant your words..u said one thing but u did another...Y do u have to punish me this way.

No wonder you drift apart...having someone being by your side..
All my prayers was not answered..im only left with a Brokenheart.

Now im all alone..getting my feet..walking away...from this cruel ending..